Personal Venusian Rose Integration Story

As mothers, we birth our babies simultaneously as we rebirth ourselves.

Astarte Sophia Rose was born on my American birthday, the 22nd of June. She graced us with her presence at 9:33 am, still in the sac (en caul birth). She weighed in at 7.14 pounds and 50cm in length.

Together we re-birthed with the fresh eight-year cycle of Venus that had just begun. Two days after our birth/rebirth, Venus came out of a 43-day retrograde, moving into the fresh new petal of her Venusian Rose remembrance.

Astarte was were conceived after I spent a year in sensual celibacy. I never had an ultrasound; I knew it was her even before she physically entered my womb; she came to me in my dreams for a few years beforehand to share mystical teachings with me about being a Daughter of the Rose.

At 9 weeks pregnant, Astarte gave me her full name on the New Moon Sagittarius in the Pele Yoni Cave on the Big Island. 

At 22 weeks pregnant whilst we were Maui she told me she would be born on the 22nd of June.

The birthing portal officially opened for me on the Venus day before Astarte’s birth, Friday the 19th of June, when a dear sister Ty La Rose came over to massage me in my home temple. 

The number nineteen is a Rose Lineage numerology number as the Venus cycle does five synoptic cycles of nineteen months that make up her full eight-year cycle. Some part of me knew this would be the last time I would be receiving a bodywork pregnant. I have always been very focused on health and wellbeing, but I took extra care of being pregnant with Astarte.

Many people don’t know this; I was told by a doctor that I was in a high-risk category for birthing in my first pregnancy. I would most likely never be able to have my dream home birth due to having a hortatory liver condition called cholestasis; this condition slows or stops the normal flow of bile from the gallbladder. This causes itching and yellowing of your skin, eyes, and mucous membranes (jaundice). Cholestasis sometimes starts in early pregnancy. But it is more common in the second and third trimesters. It most often goes away within a few days after delivery of the baby, but it is common for it to affect every pregnancy. The high levels of bile can cause serious problems for the developing baby (fetus).

As I felt my dream home temple birth drawing nearer, I began to mentally, emotionally, and physically take care of any last-minute birth preparations after receiving this exquisite massage from Ty La Rose.

Tutu arrived  (Tutu is Hawaiian word from Grandmother), Micah’s mother had arrived the day before to help with Isvara and the other kids whilst we went into the birthing portal. As she arrived and settled, I began putting a lot of things down, feeling the feminine matriarchal lineage line stepping in to support. I will never forget how grateful I was to feel Kathrine, Astrate’s Grandmother, arrive and bring with her such grace and ease to our whole home.

After feeling so at ease, I began to tap into a lucid remembrance that I had earlier in the pregnancy, around 22 weeks. I recall Astarte coming to me in an obvious dream, saying she would arrive earth side on the 22nd of June. Twenty-two being another Rose Lineage numerology number, Mary Magdalene’s number, and the day of her feast.

My Daughter Astarte Sophia Rose is The Rose Lineage in all its glory!

Then came Sunday, 21st of June, Father’s Day in America, not Australia, so I usually forget this day, but I knew this one would be tough to forget. The lucidity was high; I felt in between the worlds, like walking through life in a waking dream. I was blessed to receive an extraordinary gift from the Holy Father in the form of a sound healing from my neighbor that day.

My old neighbor John truly supported me to ground into my ancient amniotic imprints of my ancestors through his shamanic soundscapes, plugging me into the aboriginal/original roots of my Motherland, Australia. Through serenading me with his didgeridoo and softening me with the sound of his hand-carved whale flutes, it dropped me into an organic sophianic descent into the inner waters of my womb temple. I began to feel the fabric of my DNA interweaving into the deepest depths of the earth below me and opening me up to the soul of my daughter so she could begin pouring her song through me.

The birthing portal was fully opening, and the sacred waters were flowing, calling me to be with them. We made our way to my favorite spring just up the road, and this is the very same waters I had been bathing in daily over the last trimester. I knew this would be the last time I would be able to bathe in these sacred waters for a while.

I offered rose petals, rose quartz crystals, and said my daily prayer to the waters as I usually do and had been. This place had been my pregnancy power place, the place I came to at least once a day to cleanse and pray.

We came home as it was getting dark. I began to set up and tend to my birthing altar. Feeling the call to move my whole Mary Magdalene alter to the bathroom next to the pink bathtub, where I knew I would be spending a lot of time as the birthing portal opened wider.

I felt the mystical alluring of the mystery pulling me deeper into the Great Mother’s Womb. Birthing does happen from deep within, we descend into the original universal womb of all creation, and there we find our children awaiting us.

As I entered into the holy of hollies I prayed to The Rosa Mystica High Council, I anchored in my rose roots as deep as I could go and asked to be held as I fully let go. I sang Hawaiian songs that I have had the blessing of learning since living here on these sacred lands for sevens years now, and I also sang light language songs that came through as I gently continued opening through toning with my Mother Mary Singing Bowl. 

I felt Mother Mary on the right side of me, and I felt Mary Magdalene on the left side. I called upon the energies of the whole The Rose Lineage to wrap Rainbow Iridescent Wings of Protection around us as we entered even deeper into the birthing portal.

Waves of ecstasy, sensations, and ecstatic bliss washed over me as I bathed in the sacred water of my pink Venusian bathtub. I even found myself hysterically laughing as the sensations got stronger. I was just so grateful to be having my dream home birth and alone in my bathtub it was just pure bliss as the birthing portal continued to open wider.

Spiraling, swirling, descending, into the abyss of the ancient ritual of birth. Yes, I have been here before. I felt more ready than ever before. It’s almost as if I had been longing to be one with this place again. I feel deep down we all do long to be one with this primordial place once again. This place is beyond all illusion. This place is where the Holy Mother and Holy Father make love and truly consecrate all sacred.  

It’s the place that feels so good that sometimes it hurts. In this place, the sounds merge into nothing, the sensations call you deep, and then the depths take you even deeper. I remember the exact moment that I crossed the threshold into the next part of the birthing initiation. It was so powerful and full-on that I threw up, whilst simultaneously, I felt a sensation that felt close to the strongest orgasm I had ever had, plus needing to go to the bathroom all at the same time. The sacred trinity of sensations then prompted me to require someone else to be present with me, so I called upon my baby daddy to be with me, and then we called our midwife.

I knew that after that moment, I would never be the same. I felt waves of orgasmic pleasure that then turned into pulsing pain and then back into pleasure. The pain-pleasure sensations heightened and then deepened at the same time. Each time I took a breath, it felt like an initiation into another realm. The reality was shifting as I knew it. Life was expanding and contracting all within the oneness of that very moment. The magnificence of each moment that we get to be alive, here on this earth, and in the present moment had all new meaning.

Lucidity began to take over me completely, to the point where I had to lay down and as I began to move from the bathroom to the bedroom as my midwife arrived. It was amazing to feel her presence. With that came a rush of the many layers of support from all the women who had birthed before me and all those who would give birth after me. 

As I called Astarte closer to me, I felt her and myself relax into the support, grace, ease, and love of our Lineage.

Calling on the original black mother who birthed us all, I embraced her void, dissolving into the still-point of immaculate conception. Linking me into the full spectrum of The Venusian Rose Lineage medicine of my ancestors.

Calling upon the original Motherland of Australia, the sacred roots of the aboriginals, the original people. Feeling the sacred energy of the red earth anchoring me into my roots, I felt her pulsing within me.

Waves of sensations washed over my body as I softened into the surrender of the deepest gratitude to lands that I am currently blessed to live upon, Grandmother Kaua’i, the ancient lands of Mu.

I heard, “ you are home, Shona, Astarte. You are safe to come to earth, this is your home, and it is safe to be here. “

I felt all of my ancestors ushering this sacred rite of passage with grace and ease for Astarte to arrive safely earth side. I felt an ancient tapping in of rhythms, rites, and rituals birthing from within me. Then came this deep sense of resting into the remembrance of the inner knowing of my body temple, a sense of trusting the present moment birthing me into being. Allowing all that is and all that shall ever be to stream through me.

I said to Astarte ever so gently, ever so softly,  “Take your time, take as much time as you need, although we are ready for you whenever you are ready to come through. “

The sensations began to call me even deeper into me, into the cave of my womb. I slowly curled up in my four-poster Queen bed and laid with Micah. Undulating, pulsing, and riding the waves of every sensation, vibration into what felt like exploding consolations. 

Deeper and deeper I went, opening my hips wider and wiser with every moment passing. I smelt the scent of my daughter drawing near. 

I don’t feel called to call them contractions because I never felt that word did them justice. Plus, I found that if I contracted my body when I felt the sensations, all it did was hurt. So instead, as the sensations rolled in like waves, I slowly remembered to lean into them. Just like our deepest shadows, fears, and traumas, if we learn to love them and bring them closer, they eventually integrate and shapeshift into a different vibration.

As I continued inviting in the un-comfortability, it would automatically turn into more pleasure. The pain was present at the stage of the birthing/rebirthing process only if I wanted to hold onto it.

The sacred rains began to pour, and it felt as though the rains were washing clean my soul, singing the songs of my ancestors through the drops of amniotic fluid from the heavens. Taking me even deeper into the depths of clearing any un-conscious pain, trauma, and past lives karma. Supporting me to carry no longer any heaviness that was weighing down our lineage. I felt I was being baptized with each breath I took in of the fresh scent of the rain bring me home.

The sensations continued getting stronger, inviting me to soften and open my yoni, womb, heart, and mouth. 

It was clear to be open to the original Mother, and her ancient womb lay lines, and heal the lineage I had to soften. 

She whispered, “Open and offer yourself into my depths with full trust and surrender, sweet one, and I will take you in, down, and through to the other side.” The Mother was calling me home to her, and all I had to do was trust my body and listen to her.

Open through the sensations,

Open through the memories,

Open through the illusion,

Open through the pain,

Open through the bliss,

Open through the trauma,

Open through the pleasure,

Open through the depths,

Open through the beauty,

Open through the darkness.

Surrender to all sensations of this life, and you will feel no pain, and you will become free again.

Hours had gone by, and I felt Micah had been holding me, but he was now asleep. I knew he needed to rest, and I felt like I wanted someone to ride into the storm of Sophia with me and immerse into the underworld of all existence as I rode on the back of a dragon into the depths of knowing and unknowing.

At that moment, I was faced with the deepest parts of my shadows, my midwife by my side, ushering me to meet myself in these depths of knowing and unknowing.

Hours went by, which felt like lifetimes of clearing of karma, and the cleansing rains began to pour down louder from the heavens. Water has always been my favorite element. The water is where I feel most at home. I was very thankful that the sacred waters were so present throughout the whole pregnancy and birth. This all makes sense as Astarte and I are both cancer babies.

As my midwife laid with me holding my lower back, I could rest in between the sensations. The honey bees felt so present within the timelessness of the stillness. I sipped on honey straight from my backyard to keep myself nourished. The rest only lasted a few moments now before what felt like the deepest descent through the ocean into an exquisite underwater cave. I was taken through the lava tubes underground into the darkest place full of moist, magnetic, and masterful Mother Earth’s Womb.

I then felt the most intense pressure I have ever felt pushing down on my public bone. I knew it was her coming down and moving into a position to be born into this realm. I knew I had to find a place beyond all physical pain to bring this angel Star through my being. I love the whole concept of these sacred children being born of the light from within the dark. I surrendered even deeper into the infinite reservoir of depth that was within me, and it took me straight to a place beyond any bodily pain.

I felt like I was following the original black mother into a hallway of mirrors, an akashic album of my ancestors. There were parts of myself that I was being shown that I didn’t know how to see or let alone understand how to be within that moment, so I rested, let go, and did my best to begin integrating what I was seeing. There were aspects of my ancestor’s shadows being shown to me; it felt so ancient, familiar, and heavy. So I kept praying, doing my best to soften into the sensations, and allowed the oceanic waves to keep us flowing into the waters of pure love.

The sun was beginning to come up now, and I felt called to slowly move back into the bathroom to the Venusian rose pink bathtub. I ran a fresh bath alone; I spoke to Astrate through whispering to the water as the sunlight began to glisten and sparkle as it hit the water surface.

In between each sensation, I found cosmic earthly bliss as water became the medium for heaven and earth the merge. The water was hypnotic, hours went by as the tides were high, emotions were wild, and I felt Astarte drawing so near.

As I felt physically ready to bring her earth side, I called my midwife to get Micah up. I knew at that moment I needed to be held by the masculine for this final chapter of this sacred birthing portal.

Even though I have a close relationship with my father, and I have had many beautiful male friends and a handful of profound beloveds in my life over the years, feeling trusting the masculine is something I have struggled with most of my life.

 In the last part of this sacred birthing/rebirthing initiation, I faced some of my and my feminine ancestor’s biggest fears. The fear of fully being alone, the fear of not being supported, and not being loved.

You see, my father was not physically at my birth, although he wanted to be. In no way did he not want to be there to see me born; it’s because he couldn’t be there as my mother and father conceived me out of wedlock whilst my mother was still married to my sister’s father. I was my mother’s and father’s secret love child for the first few years of my life.

My mother’s love over the years has shaken me to my core, stripped me down to my devotional skeleton so I may be breathed by the bones of my ancestors once again.

For this, I am grateful to be a child of love.

I have worn the scarlet letter of rebirth that has run in my veins for eons, and I shall wear this mark of a sacred harlot with honor. 

Harlot meaning whore, the word whore meaning whole, whole, womb, and the womb shamans are born from.

In Hebrew, the word horra meant “instruction, “ and the word hor meant light.

Horasis was the Ancient Greek word for Womb Enlightenment.

In the Semitic languages from the Middle East, hor meant “cave” or “womb.” Harlot was known as a womb of light.

In so many different languages, landscapes, and lores, we will find these words of worship linked to the word womb – root words such as ha, her, hara, hero, and hera.

For I know my mother knew what real love felt like, what it tasted like, she didn’t suppress or repress herself, she honored her passion, her wildest hearts desires, and she followed the path of her heart.

This has always been a big piece to the puzzle of my poetic healing within myself. Being born with a scarlet letter on my head that connected me to a long line of Magdalenes. Who were potent women of passion and slandered for it by society because of pre-conceived ideas on how women should act.

Learning to trust and surrender to my heart/the masculine fully has always been a part of my intimate healing with God. My whole feminine lineage has been healing the split between doing what’s supposedly right deemed by society and following their heart’s inner knowing. These have been some of the direct patterns, programs, and indoctrinations I have been healing in my lifetime. 

It feels like the first step to healing is learning how to trust and surrender to God and my internal masculinity again. Which has then slowly mirrored the physical masculine relationships outside of me as well.

So at first, when I asked my midwife to get Micah, I felt him unable to be present with me, which I know is a story that I have created around the masculine.

I sunk into the bathtub as Micah entered the bathroom, disconnected, and just waking up after being asleep for a few hours next to his mother. I looked deep into his eyes and said, ” We need you; please tune in and get on the same page as me. ” He then turned around and walked out of the bathroom without saying a word.

I felt my stomach drop even lower than the water I was in; I was met with the fears and limiting belief patterns that I had been clinging to for what felt like lifetimes around, not being essentially met by the masculine. I closed my eyes and began to call upon the Brotherhood of the Light, The Grail Knights, and Kings of my lineage. I asked that the healed and whole sacred divine masculine archetypes, ancestors, and men of The Rose Lineage surround me and support me to fully heal this karmic loops and programming of not being met, supported, and loved. I asked for this distortion to be fully released from my field to birth Astarte in Sacred Union.

A few moments after that, Micah walked back into the bathroom from preparing himself to support us. I firmly and calmly directed him to get into the bath with me as I moved my massive Venus statue and rose quartz crystals aside to make space for him to sit on the edge of the bath as he planted his feet in the bathwater with me.

He held me up as I became so tired, lucid, and almost weightless from all sensations. We began to call our little angel star down together into the final stages of this sacred birth initiation. I put my fingers inside my yoni to feel for her sweet little head. I couldn’t quite feel her head yet, but I felt her so near.

With each sensation rolling through me like a wave of sophianic sound of my soul washing me clean. I felt Micah and me beginning to merge into one, and we became a monad of Divine Mother’s energy. Syncing up our breathing, I felt so held and supported as I dove deeper into the ocean of my inner emotions. 

At this point, I was exhausted. I had been up all night calling this little angel Star home. I felt like I was sustaining myself purely from the sacred nectar of the honey bees from Uncle Bill’s beehive right behind our house. I am so thankful for the bee medicine being so present in my whole pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. 

I felt Astarte ask me to move out of the water, so I listened and explored various other positions to find the best way to keep opening my pelvis. I prayed to my ancestors for the strength, support, and stamina as I felt myself fading as the sun came beaming into the bathroom. 

I was raw, open, and close… yet I felt so far from holding my little rosebud in my arms. We moved to the bed as I felt her wanting to be born there, and it was the perfect transition space as I longed to rest even for just a moment of this marathon of birthing magic. 

There was a scent of sweetness in the air, and I felt the honey bee’s so strongly all around me. I tuned into them so deeply to ask for their support in bringing my angel star safely earthside. I looked to my bedside table, picked up the last of my yummy honey, and slurped it down ever so gently. A few moments later, we began to find our perfect position with Micah and me, where we merged on every level, the deepest we ever have besides when we conceived Astarte.

As I squatted on him, he took all of my weight, and we synced our breathing up again, our bodies, our movements, and our souls. We became one at that moment together, birthing our beloved daughter earthside. As we synced in this symbiotic symphony, I felt her oh so close. I put my finger just on the outside of my yoni, and I began to feel for her head; with my midwife’s support, we began to slowly stretch out the yoni skin around her sweet little head. 

It was so surreal feeling her, touching her, and smelling her. It felt like I had waited lifetimes to meet this sweet little angel Star. With a few more lioness raws and powerful yet gentle pushes paired with some growling from the depths of my animalistic soul sounds, we got closer to meeting her. Then all of a sudden, I felt my yoni burst open like the rays of hundreds of suns, a thousand shooting stars, and constellations birthing into existence as her sweet head came out of my yoniverse.  

As she gently emerged still in her sac, en caul, or as they say, the veiled ones. Total satisfaction, complete encapsulation of many lifetimes lapsed. I had waited to meet her for so long, and now she was here. Straight onto my womb and then up to my breasts, latching onto my left breast within seconds of being born. Our hearts syncing up together once again, but this time outside of the womb. 

Ahhhhhh, I am home, I was lost, and now I am found. There were no words that I could have expressed that could truly share how proud I was of all three of us coming together, so instead, I just did a shaka, hahaha, Hawaiian style. 

A few moments later, I birthed the placenta, Astarte’s sacred twin in the womb; in many ancient cultures, it is told that the placenta is the baby’s monochorionic twin and should be treated as such. Other mystic elders speak of the placenta as the eighth chakra of the body and have mystical powers.

Astarte had asked me earlier in the pregnancy to have a lotus birth to take her time downloading and uploading information from our healed and whole ancestors. I also felt very guided to do this as I felt it was right for healing and cleansing the feminine lineage line of my Mothers, Grandmothers, and Great Grandmothers. 

If you don’t know what a lotus birth is, it’s where you keep the baby’s umbilical cord attached to the placenta. You cover the placenta in herbs such as rosemary, lavender, and rose with some salt in a bowl. This will keep the flesh smelling lovely and support the drying process to begin. The herbs and salt are changed daily until the baby naturally releases the umbilical cord in their own time. 

Astarte kicked her’s off on the fourth day after being born, and I am so happy we did a lotus birth as part of our sacred forty-four-day stay-at-home postpartum plan. It really set us off to a yummy slow pace as we went into a deep, restful baby bubble with little Astarte Sophia Rose. I felt so connected to my lineage. In between the lucid milky dreaming, I heard whispers of my ancestor’s wisdom streaming into my body, upgrading my genetics and healing my DNA from the placenta still being with us.

Many ancient cultures also practice staying at home and tending to the Mother and the baby for a minimum of forty days and forty nights. All the women of their lineage would come to serve the mother after her massive growing and birthing her baby. She would be kept inside to stay warm even in warmer weather, fed her warm and easily digestible food, and she was treated like a true Queen so that her body could replenish, rejuvenate, and rest. The forty days postpartum was looked upon as a longevity practice, that the forty days would reset her for the next forty years. It was done to protect the lineage and strengthen the wombs of the next generation to come.

Healthy mother, healthy baby, strong mother, strong baby, and so on…

My birthday and her birthing day were truly exquisite, to say the least. What a gift to birth my daughter of the Rose Lineage on my own 31st Birthday. I felt very grateful to be able to take a sacred pause, to have daddy home and to have Micah’s mother there with us, and to have the support of many beautiful sisters of my community bringing over food, flowers, gifts, love, offering massage, and support by being present with Isvara.

On the forty-fourth day, we had dear my sister Amma Sophia Rose, Astarte’s God Mother, give her baptism in the sacred spring water of Makaleha up the road from our house. She gave her a cleansing of original innocence to support her to rest into her remembrance of the Rose regardless of what karma she came in with and blessed us with her angelic songs of Sophia.

Life had taken a whole new pace. My heart was so full, as were my hands, and so was my bed. I kept tuning in with Astarte, where she would like her twin, her placenta, to be offered. She kept saying the ocean, which I felt was strange as I had always imagined burying it in the earth and planting a rose bush with her twin.

I listened as this was not about my journey. It was her’s and her choice alone; I have done my best to get out of the way and listen to what she is saying is best for her. My two besties Dakota and Rachel supported me with a Placenta Offering Ceremony. We gathered with some tribe. The placenta was woven in natural fibers, wrapped up in our love, and sent to sea by Micah and me in a ceremony with some songs.

I was so happy to complete her requests and rejoice in more sacred ceremonies to honor her coming to earth. Later I found out from a sister of mine who has a Hawaiian baby daddy that it was a Hawaiian tradition to offer the baby’s placenta to the sea. Traditionally it was done by the Hawaiian royal families, and that the father would offer it to the ocean.

I am humbled, honored, and truly grateful to be from an unbroken line of Rose Lineage wisdom keepers of the Royal Rose Codes. I bow to the feet of the holy Divine Mother who birthed us all for blessing me with a daughter in this life.